Lavender Marriage: What does it mean?

Sarthak Paliwal
Sarthak Paliwal
Lavender marriage through artwork

The recently launched Bollywood trailer of ‘Badhaai Do’ has intrigued everyone with a new term – ‘ Lavender Marriage ‘. 

Well, this isn’t new  and has been in existence for over 100 years and has been practiced by many many people over the years. Lavender marriage is the popular term used to describe a male-female marriage in which one or both of the partners were homosexual–or possibly bisexual. It is also termed mixed-orientation marriage.

This form of marriage can be understood as an ‘act of convenience‘ for creating a public deception when two individuals, usually a male and a female come together, secretly harbouring their mixed orientation. 

The term lavender marriage dates from the early twentieth century and was used exclusively to characterize certain marriages of public celebrities in the first half of the twentieth century, primarily before World War II. At the time, public attitudes toward homosexuality made it impossible for a person to pursue a public career, notably in the Hollywood film industry, while acknowledging homosexuality. One of the earliest uses of the phrase appeared in the British press in 1895 when lavender was associated with homosexuality.

With changing times, homosexuality has been increasingly accepted however it is still a word that raises the society’s eyebrows. Lavender Marriage is thus a choice, which allows an individual to be themselves yet protect their personal lives from public speculation.

The move to bring such concepts to light, surely is a step towards a progressive community. Spreading awareness about lavender marriage would definitely help, many individuals who have to hide their sexual preferences due to societal pressure or pressure within their own families and they after seldom sadly forced into heterosexual marriages – which remain unfruitful and burdensome.

So, be yourself and find a partner that understands you, your orientation and don’t let society dictate your happiness.

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