“Kya Kahun tumse main kya hai Ishq! Jaan ka Rog hai bhala hai Ishq”
What shall I tell you about the nature of love! It’s an affliction of life, it is a calamity!
– Mir Taqi Mir
This is a letter. No, it’s not a letter. Letters are way too romantic and seeing the time in which this piece of work is being read, I shall rather avoid writing anything romantic. Not that I am your typical character from a ‘rom-com’ in which I hate the idea of love but will eventually find someone to make me believe otherwise. I am not that. Trust me. Maybe, you are, and that’s good. Hope you find someone. I am a natural romantic. I believe in love and all its beauty. But while writing this piece of work, which I have decided I will call a form of question and string of thoughts, I exist as a skeptic on the idea of love in the present times.
Don’t think that I am going to tell you how love was wonderful in older ages and now the modern generations just believe in casual flings and hook-ups. No, that’s not my idea. I have seen Modern Love and I know love is something special that exists across all ages and generations. So what am I actually talking to you about…It is an idea. An idea about the hustle generation and their notion of love.
People today have this notion that if they are not in a relationship, they are knee-deep in their ambitions and work. And well, it’s right to some extent I guess. Not all people believe that they can manage both things together. Though some say love actually made them what they are today – both as a human and professionals.
I ask this hustle generation, the one who is fueled up with ted talks, podcasts, self-help books, and a desire to win and conquer the entire world. I ask you – what’s your take on love? Do you see Love as something that is a ladder to your dream car, job, house, and standard of living which you wish to achieve? Or do you see Love as a hurdle that is just going to derail from your path? Do you fear that the constant fights, bickering, and pleasing the other person will make you a different individual than you are when you are your motivated self?
I have seen people who believe in being part of a relationship when it benefits them. For them, love is not a bond between two individuals, something personal, vulnerable, and sensitive. But rather a give and take relationship. I give you my time, I get something in return. This materialistic form of love and relationship continues to exist till it benefits them. The moment that exchange is off or the balance is tipped in a different direction, the relationship ceases to exist.
While some people are like stock exchange entrepreneurs when it comes to relationships, some consider Love like a hobby that one could take up over summer break or during an unprecedented lockdown. They consider love to be just another thing they need to ‘tick-off’ from their ‘to-do list’ when they hit a certain milestone or an age, and are happy to be with an individual just because it’s convenient to be in a relationship with them.
Now, though I have no personal comments against these believers of Love of convenience and Love at Convenience, I surely ask the romantics, the believers of true love and ones with the wish of still finding the effortless form of love, to stay away from these people because whatever love is, in all its vague and unexplainable form, it does not include the convenience of any kind.
Love makes you a different person. It makes you unique and amazing. And for that, it sometimes has to make you accept who you are or change some things about yourself. But whatever it is, it is for your good only. And it can happen at the most bizarre time or the moment when you might not have expected it. So if you feel you want a partner when you hit a certain age, maybe it won’t happen. You can’t put a button ON and see your partner out there in the world.
You might have to struggle, make a lot of effort to find them. Everything you will do, one thing surely won’t be a part of the entire process – convenience.